Beneath the Mask, Wandering the City of Desire - Unveiling the Novel "Mask and Desire"

The story begins under a dreary rain in a small town in the Netherlands, or perhaps beside the canals of a vibrant yet somehow precarious Amsterdam. Facing the immense barrier of the pandemic, a man, the narrator 'I', habitually checks his route amidst the familiar yet alien cityscape. His journey is not merely travel. It is a precarious search for a path between loneliness and forbidden desire, perhaps even an escape from something he cannot fully reveal, even to himself.

'Xenia', encountered beyond the screen, is both the destination of this search and the possibility of a connection transcending the constraints of reality. Unaware even of each other's real names, behind the thin mask of messenger nicknames and fabricated identities, they arrange to meet. The petty lies starting from the hotel reservation seem to herald the already precarious relationship. The mask of a 'business visitor', the name of a non-existent company. Through the layers of masks the protagonist dons in this novel, we witness the illusory nature of relationships and the breakdown of communication in modern society.

The encounter with Xenia evolves beyond simple sexual gratification, sometimes into conversations revealing sharp fragments of intellect, other times into sensory indulgence rising hazily like marijuana smoke. A man who loves difficult philosophy books and Baduk, and a woman absorbed in games. They find a strange sense of kinship in their differences, attempting to bridge the gap with the language of the body. A hidden cafe in Amsterdam, a bed where they explore each other's skin, a glamorous but empty masked party on a boat. The settings constantly change, but what always envelops them is the air of anxiety hidden behind masks and trembling desire.

The protagonist's inner world is in constant turmoil: an intense pull towards Xenia alongside fantasies of violent revenge, the lingering phantoms of a past figure 'Zena', and the emptiness and rational distance that suddenly invade at the peak of pleasure. His character seems to reveal the deep contradictions of human nature, which cannot be entirely tamed even by Schopenhauer's pessimism or Buddhist philosophy.

This novel, "Mask and Desire," delves deeper than mere sensationalism, persistently probing the loneliness and disconnection of our times, and the raw face of primal desire that pushes through the cracks. As one mask begets another, and desire summons unexpected reality, the reader, amidst breathtaking tension, will find themselves asking questions. What lies hidden behind the masks we wear, and what awaits at the end of that desire? Following the protagonist's journey, which cannot be stopped even while foreseeing tragedy, we might just discover another 'mask and desire' concealed within ourselves.